Never Cry
by McInstry
Summary: 'Never cry over somebody who would not cry over you.' By Unknown. Two men mourn for their lost love. Hints of OT3. Rose, Jack, Doctor


A/N: Post Doomsday, pre-Turn Left era. AU. The Doctor and Jack have been talking to each other since the Sound of Drums era. Unbeta'd. Any mistakes are on me.

**:-:**

'Never cry over somebody who would not cry over you.'By Unknown

**:-:**

It was night, a musty, cool London night with all the smog and lights that left him unable to see the stars.

He stood in front of the memorial, flowers in his hand, unsure of what to do next. Coming here, it had been more of the TARDIS's decision than his. She'd nudged him onto Loreak, the greenhouse planet that bred every planet known to any species. The blind florist (she was of a species known for their acute sense of smell, thus her ability to pick out flowers) put together a bouquet with black bat flowers, chocolate cosmos, parrot beaks, and soft white blooms to soften it up.

After the flowers, the TARDIS sent him to earth, England, London. Right smack dab in front of the Canary Wharf memorial.

Rose's name wasn't listed with the other citizen fatalities. It was instead in big script, up there with politicians and the rich and famous who'd died.

"It was me." He knew that voice well.

"Jack." He nodded to the man without turning, his eyes glued to Rose's name. Even though he knew she wasn't dead, it felt so final to see it there.

"I wanted her up there, where she deserved to be. She saved the world, not Colin Firth."

"She did." He whispered, the fingers of his free hand reaching out to touch the engraving. He rested the flowers there, under her name.

A hand rested against his shoulder. "It's okay to cry for her. I did. I still do."

The Doctor shook his head. Crying… he didn't want to. Crying was a sign of weakness, something he denied himself the pleasure of. Not since she'd gone. Before he'd been so emotional and _alive_. Now he had to push himself to care when a warlord wanted to take over some planet and slay an innumerable amount of innocents.

Why did it matter? She wouldn't be there to smile at him once it was all over.

But he forced himself to find reasons to go on and function as he always had. She became his cause for saving the innocents. Everything was done in her good name. He'd do right by her even if she wasn't there to see it.

"Doctor…" He didn't even realize he was crying until Jack was pulling him into his arms. His body shook with sobs that he quieted in his throat. He clung to Jack's shirt, half leaning into the other man. His tears were hot, hotter than his skin which became clammy from the cool air around him.

"I want her back." His voice was a cracked with sobs.

"I know. I do, too." Jack pressed comforting human kisses against his temple, murmuring calming nonsense as if he were a child.

And at this very moment, he was a child. A tired, lonely, desperate child who wanted the most important thing in his life back. He wanted to find her, grasp her tightly to him, and never let her go. But he couldn't do that without risking her life and her families and every other stupid person on each side of the Rift.

It wasn't fair.

She'd cried over him so many times. When he got hurt, when he had a nightmare, even when he simply looked sad, she'd cry for him. And because of that, because of the compassion that one human girl had shown him, he cried for her. He stood in front of the memorial and cried because it was only right. She'd loved him as much as he loved her and she was gone.

The sobs became almost violent as he held back howls of agony.

No more of her hand in his. No more midnight cuppa or kisses that tasted like raspberries and amber. No more tongue-in-teeth smiles and victory hugs. No more undressing each other slowly and pressing kisses to elbows and eyelids and soft stomachs. No more of she and him and Jack all tangled in the sheets after making love like there was no tomorrow.

Oh, if they'd only known.

Jack held tight to him, his scent warm and familiar. It reminded him of the days when he'd had big ears and Rose was still next to him.

Or _between them_.

Because she'd loved Jack just as much as she'd loved him.

The Doctor sniffed and shifted to return Jack's embrace. He felt hot tears against his neck and knew Jack was crying too. If anything, he could be a bit stronger for Jack. He could be there for him so that something like this, _mourning_ like this, became bearable.

This really, really wasn't fair.

They'd had their Rose torn from them and now all they had was each other. It was more than what most people had, but there was still that _something_ that was missing.

The two men clung to each other, their breathing spiked. Jack pulled back first, his eyes wet. He didn't wipe at his tears ashamedly. Instead, he wore them like a badge of his suffering, a show that he loved Rose and wasn't embarrassed by his tears for her.

The Doctor did the same.

"You coming with me?" He asked, not letting go of Jack.

"Yeah, I think I will." Jack stepped away. His blue eyes were red and his cheeks as well and he smiled sadly. His hand caught the Doctor's tightly as they made their way to the TARDIS.

They closed the door behind them and the Doctor settled a hand on Jack's shoulder. He leaned in and kissed his lips.

"Thank you."

Jack nodded. "Of course." He kissed the Doctor, taking advantage of the open and tactile mood that was flowing between them. "I think it's good for us to remember her. She was a part of us."

The Doctor smiled. "It is good."

**:-:**

'Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.' By Unknown

**:-:**


End file.
